Journal entry

Hey yeah, I wrote this last night...

I don't really know what I want to write, but I want to write something.
I had my first dance class since dec. today, I thought i would come home feeling terrible, but when I got home, I felt so amazingly alive and full of God's love and energy.
That is what I was made for. I was created to serve God... through dance. It's so weird... for years I wished that I could go on pointe, and mow I am. People ask me why I do it... I guess I don't really have a direct answer, but I know that all the pain is worth it when Heidi says "You did that well" it's all worth it.
I guess that's a foretaste of what it will be like in Heaven when God says "well done, my good and faithful servant."
Will it be like that? Will every trial, every tear, every pain suddenly be worth it to hear God say "Well done"?
Is that what we are to live for? I think it is. Isn't the race about the finish line?
Somewhat and yet... it is also about how you run. How you train. How you prepare.
But then, to win the race, wouldn't every drop of sweat, every torn muscle, stretched ligament, pulled tendon, broken ankle,
EVERYTHING
all suddenly be worth the adrenaline of crossing the finish line first?
I don't care what it is you do. Whether it be dance, or computers or WHATEVER, do it well, but not for you. For God.
He has blessed us immensly with his gifts to us, and there's a line in the song "Blessed be Your Name" that goes: Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise.
He has blessed us each with our gifts and talents, we should use them to His Glory, to His honour.
There's more to life than us. God is a lot bigger than we are and is worth of more than we could ever give.
And yet somehow, my unworthiness fills me with so much joy. It's so insane. Every time I go before Him, I am filled with awe at how amazing He is.
It's like his way of telling me "Well done" here on earth. It's like, "Ok, Rachel, you got through that trial without loosing faith, now I'll remind you just how "there" I am for you."
I know in my heart that it's all preparation for the next storm, but I also know that, with God I can get through anything satan tries to throw against me.
God's love is so amazing and He gives it to us so willingly! We can never earn it. We can never be good enough. We can never give away enough to deserve God's love, and yet He gives it to us so freely.
IT BLOWS MY MIND!
It's so awesome!
God will love me no matter what I do! He will always love me.
Life is Life, God is Good.