that is how i am feeling lately. grumpy. but in the upset-four-year-old-who-was-up-far-too-late-and-can't-be-with-his-mommy, kind of grumpy way not the grr-i'm-a-teenager-so-i'm-going-to-be-a-dorkinthebutt kind of grumpy. the kind of grumpy that says "meh" and pouts in corners. not the kind that kicks people and yells at them. i am sick of being the only person in my house, especially since dreamboat spent the weekend here, and then i went and was with all my other best friends today. but then we couldn't go out to lunch for whatever reasons they were. poop. people had better as heck be able to go out on monday or i'ma have a crying fit. and i don't mean like a hissyfit crying fit. i mean just crying cause i won't be able to hold it back anymore. i did today, sorta. i punched a wall instead. no one noticed. people don't really notice when i'm upset that often. oh well. it's no big deal.
i suppose that is all that i have to say.
goodbye
A Little Girl
- Choo
- I'm a little girl with big dreams, who serves an even bigger God. I love Ballet, my friends, my family, and hugs. I hate not seeing my friends, making my friends disappointed in me, and when people dis ballet. Often times I feel out of place in the world, my friends help, but God helps more. My life's goal is to change someone's life through dance. If I can change the life of just one person through ballet, then I will be fulfilled.
2 comments:
Okay, warning: DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO, BECAUSE THIS IS HONESTY AND IT HURTS SOMETIMES. That being said, I want to let you know that I love so so much. I never ever ever want to hurt you. But I really feel like I need to say this. *big breath* Stop. You are wallowing in a hole of self-pity. Guess what sweetie, the world doesn't revolve around you. Nice, cliche little saying that says so much. It's really nice when you have friends that notice when you are upset. BUT NO ONE READS MINDS. If you need a hug, or someone's shoulder to cry on, or someone to rant to THEN SAY IT. It is putting WAY WAY WAY too much pressure on your friends to expect them to notice every single time your upset. I know some of your good friends, they are excellent people who love Jesus and love you. They want to help, but you MUST let them. You cannot keep in this funk of discouragement. You're angry, upset, frustrated and lonely and it pushes those who would help you away. It's not fair to them. You need to stop focusing on your wants, your feelings, what you want. It's not about you. That is what pushes you down into this depression. When you focus on yourself. Duh, we are imperfect, and who wouldn't get depressed focusing on an imperfect being all the time? Let people, and more importantly Jesus, help you. This self-pity is not "just the way you are", you can and will get over it. I know that these are biting, seemingly-heartless words, and that you will probably be very upset over them. I do not mean to make you cry, but I know you need to hear those words. I don't win any diplomat prizes, there is probably a better way to state the above, but, I don't know it. I am being dead honest with you, because I love you and I want to see you back to your cheerful bouncy self. Please call me (1-517-750-1707) if this makes you mad/upset with me, because I do not want that at all. Okay? AND I MEAN IT. I do not want you secretly upset with me and not saying it. I'm being honest with you, I pray you show me the same respect and be honeset with me. Deal? Alright, I must fly. I love you darling, I doubt I can say it enough. *big hug*
Hon, I can tell you that I do notice, I just never know how to help. I always feel like anything I do to try and help is going to get my head eaten.
(/. .\)
-
...i like my head.....
But, sweetie, if you could let me know ways that I can be there for you, I would love to do them for you.
I appreciate that you have been coming to me lately, and I really love being here for you.
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