so i wear a stupid mask every wednesday. ... actually, scratch that... everytime i'm around people who aren't the YG. and even around them... i can't show all of myself. it hurts the most at HSC on wednesdays tho. cuz then, after my .. three closest friends leave, i have no body left... and i guess it's good, cuz i can work on school that way, but i hate getting looked over. ... i guess, the best way to express it is to tell about today.
i walked out with a couple of my friends to their car, and after they drove away, i started running... you see, running is something i do when i have a lot of anger, frustration, fear, or whatever that i want to get out... and i didn't stop. and when i did, i thought "i don't want to be alone again. i hate being alone."
every single freaking wednesday i pretend that nothing can hurt me. i pretend i'm strong. if i'm not ok, i'll pretend that i am, or i'll go hide. i hate masks. i hate this one, but i don't know how to let it down. i can't let the people i don't trust see me for who i really am. i can't let them see that i hurt. i can't let them see that i'm not perfect, or strong. i can't let them see that i can cry...
maybe i'm stupid.
A Little Girl
- Choo
- I'm a little girl with big dreams, who serves an even bigger God. I love Ballet, my friends, my family, and hugs. I hate not seeing my friends, making my friends disappointed in me, and when people dis ballet. Often times I feel out of place in the world, my friends help, but God helps more. My life's goal is to change someone's life through dance. If I can change the life of just one person through ballet, then I will be fulfilled.
1 comment:
Not stupid. Human. Everyone does this, sweetie. Keep on.
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